I am surprised about how much I am staying busy. I’m not depressed in any way. The sense of loss in my absence from Christine is my greatest regret. I am hopeful for the future, and I am trying to find a purpose for this suffering. I think I am a better person now than I was, and I hope to be better still. The experience here is not as draconian as I was expecting. It’s like… so this is all that there is.
The reading, teaching classes and taking Spanish helps me. Also, I can generally get an hour’s worth of exercise daily. People do different things to spend their time in prison. Unfortunately, none of them, for the most part, are productive. I would say that idleness is a huge problem here. Guys get more used to sleep and hanging out rather than establishing work habits. There’s no reason to proactively pursue work if the pay is only 12 cents an hour for the compound jobs, and about $1 an hour for the Unicor jobs. It’s like, why bother? The incentive system is totally out of skew.
I was supposed to teach my real estate class last night. I only had six guys out of fifteen show up. There was a movie (The Help) and a mandatory training (“Cage the Rage”) for some of the guys. I can’t compete against either. I cancelled the class because we were going to discuss an important subject, and I didn’t want the absent guys to miss the lesson.
However, I had a chance to talk to one of my students for about an hour. He has previous real estate investing experience so he wants to get back into real estate investing when he gets out. He told me that he is getting a lot out of the class, and he thinks the others are too. I think that solves my dilemma about continuing to teach. Perhaps I am helping.